Do you have a hard time climaxing? Is the idea of achieving orgasm built more around frustration than satisfaction? If so, you’re not alone.
The oh-so-elusive Big O is a big deal for all sexually active women, whether they’re having great or not-so-great orgasms, regular or irregular orgasms, or if climaxing is an altogether non-existent ingredient of intercourse. Unfortunately, too many women complain that they’re lacking in the orgasm department.
Ladies, it’s time to let you in on a few secrets to better orgasms—secrets that may seem so basic and simple that you’ll wonder why you never tried them before.
Get to know your body
You may think that you know your body since it’s always been with you; however, many women who have trouble achieving orgasm have no idea what would or even could work to help them climax. Explore your body—yes, that includes masturbation—as well as your innermost desires, and learn what really turns you on. You won’t be able to enjoy a good orgasm during sex if you don’t know what turns you on and what will help you to get there.
Communicate
Guys aren’t mind readers. Even if you’ve been with your partner for awhile, you can’t assume he’ll know what to do if you’ve never told him. Most men need—and even want—at least some direction when it comes to sex and foreplay. So give it! You’ll be amazed at how much better and more frequent your orgasms will be simply by communicating with your lover. You can talk to him before having sex, or, if that feels too weird, you can tell him what feels good during your lovemaking or simply moan with pleasure when he’s pressing all the right buttons. (Conversely, if he’s doing something you don’t like, tell him very softly—don’t be rude or mean!—what you’d prefer instead or gently guide his hand to where it should be.)
Take your time
Yes, it sucks that (most) guys can do their “business” in a matter of minutes, but we’re not guys! It takes time for women to climax—time that includes a lot of fooling around and foreplay. Each woman is different as far as how much time she needs; don’t expect to climax after a certain number of minutes. Make sure you have plenty of time to enjoy each other and then take the time you need—and enjoy the process, too. The bonus of waiting? You’ll have better orgasms! The longer it takes for you to climax, the more your body will “build up,” and the bigger and better the release.
Experiment
Experimenting sexually is beneficial for any romantic relationship, but it’s especially important when women have a hard time with climaxing. Try new positions and techniques to find out what will help you to have better and more consistent orgasms. If your sex life is a tad on the bland side, try spicing it up with things like massages, incense, dirty talk, role-playing, sex toys, videotaping or mirror-watching, and new environments. Experimenting just a little can be just want you need to push you over the edge into orgasmic bliss.
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