What you can do to improve your relationship. Marriage on the rocks? Hit a communication snag with your spouse? In a perfect world, we’d have perfect marriages.
 But we’re not in a perfect world—we live in reality, where most marriages have at least some room for improvement. If you’re looking for a way to build a better, stronger marriage, consider following these five steps.
1. Spend Time Together
This may seem like a no-brainer, but many married couples, even though they live together and go through their daily routines together, don’t make the effort to really spend quality time together. If it’s hard to find this time, talk about it and make time, and schedule it in your calendar if you need to.
You don’t need to go out to dinner and a movie every other night or even once a week, particularly if you don’t have the funds. Get creative and romantic and just be together, whether you stay in or go out. Simply cuddling on the couch or taking a walk can do wonders for your marital intimacy. Got kids? Find a reliable babysitter and try to get out of the house together at least a few times a month.
2. Lessen Your Stress
Too much stress isn’t good for anyone, and can affect all areas of your life, including your relationships. Because your marriage is the central relationship in your life, it can take a pretty bad beating if you’re stressed out. Do whatever you need to do to cut down on the stress in your life and learn to relax. Simply de-stressing can make a big, positive difference in the health and strength of your marriage.
3. Keep Communicating
Some couples have a hard time expressing their feelings and sharing their thoughts, but open and honest communication is paramount to any successful marriage. Your spouse cannot read your mind, no matter how long you’ve been together. Learn how to talk and really listen to each other while keeping your anger in check in order to strengthen your communication and build your trust. Let your partner know that you are always there if he/she needs to talk or vent.
4. Be Nice
“Being nice” might sound overly simple or even juvenile, but this is an essential key to a healthier marriage. Being kind, courteous, grateful, and respectful will go a long way. Let your partner know, through both your actions and your words, that you value, appreciate, and care about him/her.
5. Consider Couples Counseling
The term “couples counseling” may have a certain stigma attached to it, but taking couples counseling together does not mean that your marriage is in big trouble or otherwise doomed to fail. Some couples who take counseling together may realize that a temporary—or, in some cases, permanent—separation is necessary, but for the most part, counseling helps couples rebuild their relationships and come out with a stronger marriage, equipped for the road ahead.
There may be specific issues you as a couple need to deal with through counseling. These could be related to sex, money (two hot-button issues), anger management, past hurts, abuse, infidelity, trust issues, or simply communication problems. Whatever conflict seems to take center stage in your relationship, couples counseling can help the two of you work through it.
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