 Everyone wants to offer advice on how to quit smoking. You don’t really want to quit. Do you? I’d like to offer a few reasons why smoking can be a positive way to impact your life and those you love. If you’re ready let’s get smoking.
1. Wrinkles
It’s been proven that smokers tend to have more wrinkles. Why does this have to be viewed as negative. Wrinkles always provide character, especially those cute little ones around your lips. Not only attractive, but also useful in letting others know how you arrived at a place of ‘characteristic’ beauty. You can almost sense the envy.
2. Teeth
Given time your teeth may resemble the color of a loaf of 100% stone ground wheat bread. Talk about natural – and healthy. While everyone is working to keep their teeth white you’ll be making a health conscious statement, “No processed foods for me. I’m whole wheat all the way.” Your smoking assists you in making such a bold statement on the decline in health in our world.
3. Breath
When people make comments about a smell similar to a smoke stack or they come up with some witty phrase about kissing ashtrays you can use that as the perfect opportunity to launch into a history lesson about the Industrial Revolution or even the Revolutionary War. There was lots of smoke in both cases and this simply provides the perfect opening for a well-received educational lesson.
4. Clothing
You don’t need to hide those little burn holes in your clothing. Stray ashes will do that you know. You are simply on the cusp of personal fashion design – perhaps inspired by the Swiss. Your poly-cotton blend will draw rave review and the good news is given enough time your fashion sense will continue to evolve as time and chance find new ways to alter the fabric of your life. Think of this as an investment opportunity in turtlenecks. They provide a great background accent in any of those undignified holes.
5. Food
So what if you can’t smell or taste food anymore. The good news is you can now eat all that healthy food you hated before. It doesn’t taste any better or worse than a convenience store snack cake so why not use your smoking as a means of making healthy dietary changes. People will marvel at your life contradictions. As well they should.
6. Coughing
It’s a productive habit that allows you to wheeze less. Sure it makes mornings slightly less fun than a root canal, but it’s a very natural activity that results in a slightly better feeling – once you’ve stopped.
7. Lungs
With each puff smoke filters into the lungs and begins to make subtle changes that continue with each cigarette. Just consider that next cigarette your contribution to your own personal interior design. Nobody can redecorate like you.
8. House Guests
Sure they might stay away in droves, but think about how much money you’ll be saving in the long run by not having to pay for the extra meals or engage in expensive outings with certain family and friends who seem overly concerned about something like cigarette smoke.
9. Exercise
By smoking more and exercising less you can discover the freedom of a life without physical exertion. Do you think those exercise geeks enjoy running around like raccoons? You can simply stand on the front porch and watch them run by in their little outfits and contemplate the sanity of good health. Besides you can make your cigarette smoke do tricks. What can they do? Run a few miles. What kind of comparison is that?
10. Oxygen
At some point you will probably need oxygen. You will be the envy of all you meet when you walk by carrying a portable and highly fashionable oxygen machine. Your wrinkle lined lips will hug the plastic rope that send oxygen into a nose that can’t really smell, but you will be the one who gets the last laugh. The oxygen you receive is more pure than anyone else’s.
You’ve always been a non-conformist.
That’s why you started smoking. It set you apart from everyone else. It gave you a reason to take longer breaks at work. It settled your nerves when the kids were at their worst. It comforted you in the loss of someone you loved. In the end it’s easy to come up with the positive reasons to smoke listed above. After all who wants a clear complexion, a bright smile, mornings without coughing or the ability to smell and taste food.
Maybe you do.
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